


Not Strong Enough

by Alltheshrinks



Series: Infidelity Verse [9]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Angst, F/M, Infidelity, M/M, Oral Sex, Semi-Public Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:54:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26203762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alltheshrinks/pseuds/Alltheshrinks
Summary: Jared thinks back to the first time he cheated with Jensen.Song is by Blackhawk: Not Strong Enough To Walk Away
Relationships: Jake Abel/Jared Padalecki, Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki, Jensen Ackles/Other(s)
Series: Infidelity Verse [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1886815
Comments: 16
Kudos: 34





	Not Strong Enough

**Author's Note:**

> All of these verses are stand alone and can be read separately, though it is helpful to read the others. The only thing you need to know is that J2 are married to other people, but have had an on again, off again relationship for almost their entire adult life.
> 
> Comments make me insanely happy, I love engaging with all of you. Follow me over on Twitter @tltm78

Jared is drawing at his desk, while Eli sits at his smaller one and scribbles on a piece of paper that Jared had torn out of his sketchbook, the charcoal is smeared all over the three-year-olds cheek and hands and Jared knows that he is going to have to put him in the bath again. It isn't that big of a deal, his son loves the water and baths, so different from Kai, who hated water and only learned to swim after his second-grade class was given swim lessons. If his peers hadn't been a factor, he doesn't think that his son ever would have learned.

It is a perfect day outside, Jared and his son had gone for a walk with Buster, the three-month-old German Sheppard puppy that his husband had rescued from the pound. Jared loves animals, always has, but Jake tends to be a wee bit compulsive about things and by a wee bit, he means completely. Jake will not be the one who will have to train, and exercise the thing and a dog that size will need all kinds of exercise. But his children had fallen head over heels for Buster, and if Jared is honest he has, too.

Now the dog is laying under the Christmas tree, chewing on the pig's ear that he had picked up at the store. Jared and his boys had decorated it yesterday, while Jake was out of town on business.

_Jared and Megan are walking with their arms slung around each other, Brenda Lees Jingle Bell Rock is being piped through the small Christmas Tree lot, as the siblings hunt for the perfect tree. Megan has been glued to her brother's side since he got off the plane yesterday and he doesn't think they have ever gone this long without fighting. She must have really missed him._

_Megan stops to look a particularly large, the sign says Blue Oregon Pine, that will in no way fit in his car or in their parents' living room._

" _Hey, Griswald, where are you going to put a tree that size," he hears behind him and turns around to see Jensen standing there with a dark-colored scarf peeking out of his peacoat and a beanie of the same color pulled way down over his ears._

" _Bend over and I'll show you," Jared finishes the joke and Jensen beams at the other boy._

_"Megan, that tree is way too big," Jared walks closer to his sibling, try to put space between himself and the other male. Jared has been dating Jake for six months and it isn't serious, serious, but he thinks it could be._

_Jensen either doesn't notice the move, or he doesn't care, because he steps closer to Megan and holds his arms out. To say that his sister is delighted to see the other boy is the understatement of the decade because she squeals and jumps into his arms. Megan has always had a crush on Jensen, it is something he thinks afflicts two-thirds of the Padalecki children._

_"You know, Mac is at the hot chocolate stand," Jensen nods his head in the direction of the concessions stand and the girl takes off quickly in that direction._

_"Smooth," Jared says and puts his gloved hands in the pockets of his own winter coat because if he doesn't, he will touch the other boy and he might not be able to stop at a hug._

_Once again, Jensen ignores all of the extreme body language that he is sure he is telegraphing, fuck he may as well be doing an interpretive dance for as clueless as Jensen seems. The next thing he knows, he has the older boy pressed up against him, with four layers of clothes between them, but Jared has never felt so exposed._

_The boys walk through the rows and rows of trees, with fake snow and decorations in every corner of the lot, past all of the handmade wreaths and ornaments, ending up at the booth that sells hot apple cider. Jared buys two cups of the sweet nectar and hands Jensen his, before dragging the other boy behind the building and out of sight._

_Once Jared is sure they are out of the prying eyes of the other patrons and spying sisters, he pulls a bottle of spiced rum out of the inside pocket of his wool coat and unscrews the top. Jensen's mouth gapes as Jared pours a healthy shot of the amber-colored liquid into both of their cups. "Can't have apple cider without some rum, that would be uncivilized," he winks at Jensen and takes a sip,smacking his lips obscenely, "Much better."_

_Jensen can't help but stare at his mouth, remembering all of the filthy things that Jared's mouth is capable of and thinking that rum is not the worst that has ever passed his own lips. He mentally shrugs and takes his own sip, nearly gagging at how strong the concoction is, but keeping it down._

_Jared is all doe-eyed, with ruddy cheeks as they both lean against the wood of the concession stands, the only light is from a lone security light that is at the far end of the lot. Jared doesn't mean for it to happen, but he didn't plan on any of this; the next thing he knows, Jensen has him pushed into the damp siding and is licking apple cider, spiked with rum, out of his mouth. The older of the pair licks into his warm, wet cavern like a man dying of thirst does water._

_Jared slots their lower bodies together and kisses back, his bare hands questing under Jensen's jacket until he finally feels the smooth, hot skin of the boy in his arm's back. Jensen shivers, moaning into his mouth and just kisses him harder._

_Jared is so hard in his jeans that he can drive nails with his dick, but he clamps his own desire down and drops to his knees. The cold, wet ground immediately soaks through his pant legs and Jensen whispers harshly, "What are you doing?"_

_Jared ignores the question, much like Jensen has been ignoring his own attempts to put distance in between their bodies, "Shut up," is all he says and pulls Jensen's belt loose and opens the protesting boy's jeans. He pulls Jensen's boxer briefs snuggly under his balls and then he is swallowing Jensen's weeping erection down._

_Jensen gasps, then he covers his mouth with a gloved hand while twisting the other one into the collar of Jared's jacket. Jared backs off a little, sucks on the head and around the glans, using a skill that he did not possess over summer break, just to hollow his cheeks and take Jensen all the way down into his throat._

_The kneeling boy swallows around him, and Jensen sees stars, he taps on Jared's shoulder in warning, but Jared just sucks harder. Jensen whimpers, the contrast of cold air hitting his balls and how tight and wet Jared's throat is too much and he feels his stomach muscles turn nearly inside out before he swears he sees the face of God and blows his load down Jared's esophagus. Jared drinks it down, without so much as even a drop being spilled and continues to suck as hard as he can until Jensen is nearly crying from the sensitivity. He can literally feel the tears in his eyes freezing to his face when he yanks on Jared's coat, all but pulling him off of his tender flesh._

_Jared stands up and does the older boy’s_ _pants up and then leans in to kiss Jensen, who turns his head at the action. Jared just had his mouth on him and he came in his mouth. "I guess nothing has changed," Jared says quietly and takes off towards the bathrooms on the other side of the concession stands._

_Jensen is standing outside of the restroom when Jared finally comes out; it hadn't taken long for Jared to jerk himself off, thinking about how hot it was being on his knees for Jensen, but it had taken a little while to work up his courage to go back outside._

_Jensen falls in step next to him and the tension is so thick that you can almost see it until Jared stops and looks at his best friend. He is home for three weeks and then he can head back to California; but for three weeks, he can have whatever Jensen will give him. Which is honestly the best thing that Jared has ever had._

_"I don't want to fight Jensen," Jared says quietly, "Let's just spend this time together, whatever and whenever we can be together."_

_Jensen nods, he understands that Jared is being so patient with him and it is so much more than he deserves. He can be happy in the here and now, then Jared will go back west and he can figure things out._

_"But I need you to promise me something? If you can't do this, I need you to walk away, because I swear to God, I'm not strong enough to."_

The memory fades away and Jared tries not to think about all of the many promises that he has broken, that was just the first. Eli hops off of his little art stool to show him the charcoal rendition of Buster, that looks nothing like him. His son grabs his sketch that he didn't realize he was drawing. Jensen is smiling back at them, crinkles around his eyes, and beanie pulled over his ears.

Later, after the boy is clean again and laid down for his nap, Jared tucks the picture into one of his folders and puts it in the bottom drawer of his desk.


End file.
